women don't want to hear what you think.
women want to hear what they think,
in a deeper voice...bill cosby
a guy knows he's in love when he loses interest
in his car for a couple of days...tim allen
a bank is a place that will lend you money.
if you can prove that you don't need it...bob hope
if you haven't got anything good to say about anyone,
come and sit by me...alice roosevelt longworth
it's not that I'm afraid to die,
i just don't want to be there
when it happens...woody allen
a cynic is a man who,
when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin...h. l. mencken
If winning isn't everything,
why do they keep score?...vince lombardi
I told my doctor I broke my legs in two places,
he told me to quit going to those places...henny youngman
It's so simple to be wise.
Just think of something stupid to say
and then don't say it...sam levenson
when I was born,
I was so surprised,
I couldn't talk for a year and a half...gracie allen
have you noticed that
anyone driving slower than you is an idiot
and anyone driver faster than you is
a maniac?...george carlin
why do they call it rush hour
when nothing moves?...robin williams
from: Reader's Digest, Laughter is the Best Medicine, 2006, The Reader's Digest Association Inc. NY
:-)
